I am alive and with the help of God I mean to live still.— I am as the prodigal Son, though I never doubt or disbelieve the fullness of the gospel: I have been greatly abased and humbled: and I blessed the God of Israel, when I lately read your prophetic blessing on my head, as follows:“The Lord will chasten him because he taketh honor to himself, and when his soul is greatly humbled, he will forsake the evil, then shall the light of the Lord break upon him, as at noon day, and in him shall be no darkness,” &c. I have seen the folly of my way, and I tremble at the gulf I have passed so it is, and why I know not. I prayed and God answered, but what could I do? Says I, I will repent and live, and ask my old brethren to forgive me, and though they chasten one to death, yet I will die with them, for their God is my God. The least place with them is enough for me, yet it is larger and better than all Babylon. Then I dreamed “that I was in a large house with many mansions, with you and and , and when it was said supper must be made ready, as one of the cooks, I saw no meat, but you said there was plenty and showed me much, and as good as I ever saw; and while cutting to cook, you and looked very pleasant and smiled, but ’s heart and mine beat within us, and we took each others hand and cried for joy.” And I awoke and took courage.

I know my situation, you know it, and God knows it, and I want to be saved if my friends will help me.— Like the captain that was cast away on a desert Island, when he got off he went to sea again, and made his fortune the next time. So let my lot be, I have done wrong and I am sorry.— The beam is in my own eye. I have not walked with my friends according to my holy . I ask forgiveness in the name of Jesus Christ of all the Saints, for I will do right, God helping me. I want your fellowship: if you cannot grant that, grant me your peace and friendship, for we are brethren, and our communion used to be sweet. And whenever the Lord brings us together again, I will make all the satisfaction on every point, that Saints or God can require. Amen.

To Presidents Joseph Smith, , , &c.

Dear Brethren:

We have been in this place a few days, and have preached faithfully; a very great prospect of some able and influential men embracing the faith in this place. We have moved along slowly, but have left a sealing testimony: baptized a considerable number. We shall write again soon as we learn the result of our labors here more particularly. We are well and in good spirits through the favor of the Lord.

requests us to write a few lines in his letter, and we cheerfully embrace the opportunity. says he wants to live; and we want he should live: but we do not feel ourselves authorized to act upon his case, but have recommended him to you; but he says that his poverty will not allow him to visit you in person at this time, and we think he tells the truth. We therefore advised him to write, which he has done. He tells us, verbally, that he is willing to make any sacrifice to procure your fellowship, life not excepted. Yet reposing that confidence in your magnanimity [p. 304]